Caution, proceed with caution before reading this. I have reached the pinnacle of badassness or BAMFness. Yes I, Colé, have reached Chuck Norris BAMF status. So get this, (holding for applause), apparently once you are able to talk your way out of a speeding ticket you have become a god. That’s me. So on my way home from the city not by the sea, I approached a highway (koopa) trooper I heard sirens wailing and a flashing light, the fuzz got me. So the said fuzz man comes and ask for license and registration, the normal bullshit. He then comes back to my vehicle after a trip to his ride and says damn I did not know I was stopping Colé. I said that is inexcusable, for I am a local god and legend in this neck of the woods (redneck phrase). He told me sorry and to be on my way, and asked if I needed a police escort back to Townie Ville. I said I should be fine as I threw rocks in his face. So this is how it really went down. The copper pulls me out of the vehicle and slams me up against the truck and asks me if I have ever been arrested, no I said unfortunately. So anyways he asks me if I had been drinking and I said not I. He then proceeded to insist that I had been so he gave me a breathalyzer test, which I almost guarantee you I failed. As a side note, I wasn’t drinking. He said I was shaking, to which I thought to myself, If you had 1000000 candle power light being flashed in you eyes wouldn’t your eyes be red and wouldn’t you start shaking? In fact the reason I probably was shaking is because I needed a beer. Asshole, however he redeemed himself by giving me a warning. Onto our (BDC’s) favorite time of year, fantasy football. Pathetic. That would also describe the San Angelo Ceiler Dwellers team. You see I was out being productive (Golfing) while the draft took place. I got home in time to take my final 4 picks. Oh well I still should be better than the San Diego Padré Teds and the Hereford Flip-a-Lips (Flip-a-Lids). In other news, if you haven’t checked out my Townies in Action photo album on facebook you should, I just updated it with the best townie picture to date. It’s the last week of summer school and then it’s two weeks of solid drinking, yes yes y-e-s. I’m a riot, your a fucking(1) riot. Until I find time to talk again, which shouldn’t be to long, Eloc out.
FF: San Diego, meaning a whale’s vagina.
Fratastic Meter: 8/10 My spotters are back to work and have seen some pretty fratastic activity.
Song of the Day: Marina Del Ray – George Strait
Funny word of the Day: Ted Ex. Think about it.
Quote of the Day: “I am McLoven.”
TFOD: Get a haircut and a job.
